The Dangers of Destructive Patterns
The Dangers of Destructive Patterns
Destructive patterns come in many forms. The one thing they have in common is that they all start with a destructive behavior. Personal destructive behaviors often turn to generational destructive patterns, which can then turn into world destructive patterns. One example of a personal destructive behavior is presenting a false version of yourself. There are many negative effects that presenting a false version of yourself can have, both mentally and physically, on both yourself, and others around you. By presenting a false version of yourself you are effectively constructing a false persona, and the friends who you make under this pretense are not really your friends, they are friends with the false persona you presented. This further reinforces the false persona, encouraging one to keep it up. However, doing so is harmful to all involved. There are many reasons one could present a false persona. One reason could be to feel accepted by the people around us. It can feel isolating to be different, because often people fear and ridicule others who are different. This is a silly behavior, based on fearing the unknown. But the majority of the world is unknown, and the unknown should be viewed with curiosity, not fear. It's an ingrained behavior we have imitated for generations, but can be overridden with knowledge and experience. Another reason people might project a false persona is passive aggressiveness. "Passive aggressive" is defined by Merriam Webster as "being, marked by, or displaying behavior characterized by the expression of negative feelings, resentment, and aggression in an unassertive passive way (as through procrastination and stubbornness)" Passive aggressiveness harms all involved by not directly addressing the problem and the feelings one has about a situation. It creates feelings of false security in the people around you, who think nothing is amiss. Doing this in front of children creates a mentally unstable environment, and teaches them the behavior, further perpetuating harm. It harms the person doing it the most, by penting up their true feelings, and creating an unstable environment for them, which can be physically and mentally harmful. The better method is to express your feelings in a healthy way, even if the feelings are negative or don't make sense. They're your feelings, and they are valid, and the people who love you should support you while you express them, even if they are illogical. This is the root of the problem. The person with the passive aggressive traits has either been taught to withhold their negative feelings because they are deemed as "bad" or has learned that expressing them and confronting people leads to a worse outcome than expressing, confronting and resolving. This is likely due to someone else who has learned this pattern, possibly a person with Narcissistic Personality Disorder. These two disorders, Passive Aggressive Disorder and Narcissistic Personality Disorder, seem to either go hand in hand, or are one and the same. And these patterns of unhealthy actions must be addressed and corrected for us to stop these behaviors from happening in the future. It is hard to get someone with these kinds of behaviors to accept that there is a problem, because they have learned to deny and they fear accountability for their actions, which if people knew the extent of their treachery, would reveal a truly malevolent persona. The best way to combat such disorders is to teach children to express their feelings in a healthy way, and accept the validity of both negative and positive feelings. Create an environment where children feel safe expressing themselves fully and confident that resolving conflict directly is healthier than witholding their feelings. Healthy conflict resolution is a major thing that is rarely taught in schools, and really should be. We are just coming out of an age where repression of feelings was the common practice. This is why these harmful behaviors are so common. It's unhealthy. This is why so many older people have irrational actions and prejudices. These things were taught, and indoctrinated into them. And while many are too stubborn to see how and why they could be wrong and should change, many more are realizing this and waking up. Psychological health is a necessity and with these behaviors, anything other than the appearance of it is very hard to achieve. However, I have faith and confidence that we as a species can learn to move past these harmful patterns. Our world is full of them, and only those who look at the world and its history as a whole, and not isolated parts can see these things. Specialization has created tunnel vision in most of the population, when we should all be more polymathic and develop a unifying world view, because that's what we truly are: A unified world. And nothing in this world happens in isolation from the rest of it. Everything effects everything else, and the effect goes on into the future so much more than most of us realize. Seeing the world as a whole reveals the intrinsic harm in the structure of our society. We live in a capitalist world, where people have been indoctrinated to value profit above all else, at the expense of our environment, and our fellow humans. This doesn't seem harmful when you look at it with tunnel vision. What harm could me working for a corporation do to others, and what harm will throwing this little piece of garbage out the window do to the world? But with a unifying world view, it's much different. Working for the corporations is promoting and supporting them, and corporations are the major cause of the pollution and many of the problems in the world. One corporations' success spells scarcity for millions of people. But it doesn't have to be that way. We have forgotten that to hoard resources is harmful to all. If you build abundance in your whole neighborhood, your whole neighborhood will do better. The same is true for the world in its entirity. There is enough abundance to go around, and no one would have to worry about survival or have to forfeit their life to work to pay to survive. The very notion is so roundabout and wasteful of time, resources and life. That piece of garbage you threw out could inadvertently become the death sentence for the last of a species. Life is not happening only now, it's happening at all times, simultaneously, and the power we each have most over is the future. If we change the now, the future will be better. In a way, we are the gods, the architects of the future. Do we want to construct a Utopia, or a Dystopia? Our present actions, both mentally and physically, big and small, will decide. So I invite you all to examine all aspects of your lives, and see where you can make a difference. What patterns can you break? What futures are they creating or destroying? It's up to us.
